Wednesday, February 2, 2011
Jealously or middle child syndrome??
We knew when Finley was born that Bella would be a little jealous because she was the baby girl for almost 6 years, however, I didn't think it would still be a problem one year later. When Finley was a baby we explained to her that she is a baby and requires a lot of time, but we still care about her and love her. Now that they are older it just makes me mad! She is almost 7, she shouldn't be acting this way!! Bella is not that bad around me, but with Jason she is terrible. Finley LOVES Bella so it really bothers me when she acts that way. I don't remember having one jealousy issue with Tyler at all. He always loved Bella when she was a baby. It is because she is a girl and Finley is a girl too? Because she is the middle child? I was 3 out of 4 so I was a middle child and didn't act that way. Is it just her personality (I hope not!)? Will it get worse or better as she gets older? What about when we have another baby? Maybe it's our fault since we don't spend a lot of one on one time with her, but when you don't know anyone to babysit that is just the way it has to be. Any suggestions so I don't murder her??
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Hey Meredith.... A friend of mine has 3 boys (ages 8, 6 and 2) they have had the same issue with the 6 and 2 year old. What she and her husband do is arrange time with them and just one child. Sometimes she will take one to a movie and the other two say home with dad. Or dad will take one to a football game so they can spend time together. It allows the child to open up with the parents and by a guided conversation from the parent you can most of the time figure out their frustrations. Also, you will then make the child feel really important when you tell them how special their job is as a older sister/brother. Just thought I'd share...
ReplyDeleteThanks Brooke. That is stuff we should do anyway, but it's just making time to do it. I've got a few things in mind that just she and I can do so hopefully that will help.
ReplyDeleteOkay, I had to share on this one. Though I don't have any advice on what to do. I can give you some hope regarding the worry about personality and how it might affect them. Since I only have one, I haven't witnessed this situation as a parent BUT I have witnessed it as someone who went through it personally. Brian was Bella and I was Finley. In his case it was personality (what I mean is, some kids just don't get all excited or feel honored about having a younger sibling, they just see them as someone they have to share your time with). That being said, Brian was adored and adored everyone else, and we ended up being very close though we fought like cats and dogs. LOL! In other words, even though he wasn't thrilled about having to share mom and dad with me, when it comes to all other aspects of his personality, he's one of the kindest gentlest and humble people I know. On the other hand, my cousin who adored me as a kid b/c I was younger as well as adoring their younger sister is personality wise pretty much a jerk. LOL! Does that make sense?
ReplyDeleteI KNOW if we have another, we are going to have that problem with Dax as well. I just know. He loves other kids, but I have a feeling he's not going to be into sharing me with someone else. If me and Clint have anything to say about it, he'll have to learn. ;o)